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PETI Protests DNC Treatment of Bedbugs 6 Sep 2012 | 05:16 am
(CHARLOTTE, NC) The unethical treatment of bed bugs brought an estimated 500 angry sign-carrying protestors outside of the Time Warner Cable Arena at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, N...
New Yorkers Plan Bye-Bye Hillary Bashes 1 Dec 2008 | 02:24 pm
(ALBANY, NY) Sound the trumpets. Bang the drums. Forgotten upstate New York residents plan massive Bye Bye Bashes in anticipation of Hillary Clinton’s appointment as Secretary of State. Numerous s...
Obama Tapped As Heinz Catsup Spokesman? 2 Sep 2008 | 12:36 pm
(CHICAGO) As Barack Obama’s presidential campaign shifts into panic mode, Obama has reopened secret talks to become the principle spokesperson for Heinz products, pending the outcome of this year’s pr...
Where’s Hillary? 16 Jun 2008 | 12:20 pm
(THE WORLD) Where’s Hillary Clinton? Chappaqua? Washington? Has she returned to Iowa? Has anyone seen Hillary since she endorsed Barack Obama before an adoring crowd of her most ardent supporters? Ph...
Hillary’s Dry Nose, China’s Earthquake, Eight Bells’s Broken Ankles, Burma’s Typhoon, Obama’s Repeated Desire to Negotiate With Terrorists, and Florid... 26 May 2008 | 01:21 pm
(Washington, DC) Former Vice President Al Gore made tsunami-size waves in a wide-ranging and controversial interview broadcast yesterday on National Public Radio. In his rambling remarks, Gore linked...
Maple Trees Upset By Warming Winters 9 Mar 2008 | 07:23 am
(BRATTLEBORO, VT) Vermonters may have to shutter up their sugar shacks and shuffle off to Canada if they want to continue to live off the largesse of the maple tree. Man-made or not, global warming s...
Restless Chris Matthews Leg Syndrome 24 Feb 2008 | 02:13 pm
(Washington, DC) Medical authorities have failed to explain why MSNBC’s Chris Matthews’s leg hasn’t stopped tingling since the evening hours of February 13 during an acceptance speech given by Democra...
Hillary’s Empty Pants Suit Collection Evokes Yawns 11 Feb 2008 | 03:01 pm
(NEW YORK) New York’s fashion week ended as all orgiastic parties unfortunately must end, with the lights flicking on and the bleary-eyed crowds making for the exits. Didn’t these ungrateful wretches...
Egypt Seals Gaza Border Using Secret Weapon 4 Feb 2008 | 02:56 pm
RAFAH, Egypt — Electric batons could not stop hordes of Palestinians from illegally pouring through a hole in the border fence between Gaza and Egypt. Nor could water canons, and bulldozers. Palestin...
Iowa Man Sues Clintons For Mental Whiplash 16 Dec 2007 | 09:54 am
(DES MOINES, IOWA) A middle-age Iowa voter has filed a $12 million lawsuit against both Hillary and Bill Clinton for mental whiplash. According to papers filed yesterday in Iowa’s Supreme Court, Andr...
