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I am pretty sure I’m going off the deep end but its going to be delicious. 16 Jul 2013 | 06:47 am
I got married. It was pretty awesome and I would highly suggest trying it at least once. You get to wear clothing you love and hang out with people you can tolerate and even if you can’t tolerate them...
I call her ‘Liv. And she calls me “Please stop photoshopping yourself into my family photos” 5 Jul 2013 | 12:05 am
Did I ever tell you about the time I became best friends with Olivia Munn? No? Well children gather round for a tale of friendship, beauty and crockpots. It was 2012, the year of “For The Love of God...
It’s like “Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego” only I don’t have a cool trenchcoat and I’m super white 20 Feb 2013 | 08:07 pm
I feel like I should start this blog post being all “IM SO SORRY!” what with the whole not posting. Only, I’m not all that sorry because I haven’t had anything to write. Not in the “I’ve fallen into ...
What the *&#% happened to December?? 9 Jan 2013 | 07:47 pm
December was insane. Completely and utterly insane. It went by so fast that I’m a little bit worried I’m in a coma and that all this is a dream and its actually still June 2012 and I’ve been hit by a ...
I think I’m like the priceline negotiator. He just hands shit out right? His boss should fire him… 14 Dec 2012 | 01:43 am
I’m going to tell you guys my shameful secret. I’m a TERRIBLE negotiator. Because I’m nice. RIGHT?! You’re probably all “Uhm B, 90% of the time you’re filled with rage and general disdain for the h...
Emily Post is rolling in her grave. Shes the one who judges bad manners right? Yeah. She’d be mighty pissed. 10 Dec 2012 | 09:32 pm
I am starting to think that I work with a large group of lovely people that were raised by motherfucking wolves. And those wolves were raised by Britney Spears. During the headshaving period. The “sha...
I think this is the 15th blog post featuring goldfish crackers. Also – HI! I’m Back. Missed you. 20 Nov 2012 | 12:50 am
SWEET HOOKERS ALIVE YOURE STILL HERE?!?! Blah blah blah I’m the worst ever but I love you and I missed you all and I’m sorry I did that thing again where I go away without even leaving you a text mes...
It’s like, uh, a, uh, party in my pants? 16 Oct 2012 | 11:32 pm
People are all “Robert Pattinson, SEXIEST MAN ALIVE” and I want to take one moment and challenge that. Because it is regoddamneddiculous. Anyone with any sort of sexy parts should just sense that the...
I’m not 100% sure I have my priorities straight. 9 Oct 2012 | 09:24 pm
I am trying to pack for a work trip to New York (which makes me feel really, really grown up) and am pretty much having an existential crisis because I’m trying to keep my packing to carry on items on...
I can’t meditate or wear underwear. 2 Oct 2012 | 07:31 pm
My stupid doctor has confirmed that I am going through a depressive episode and that maybe I should meditate. That was when I punched him in the balls. Okay I didn’t punch him in the balls but I must...
